Watch that Hard Knocks premiere and you will see Roddy White and company straining to be telegenic, talking mild trash on the field and laughing WAY too loud, as if a director is standing behind the camera begging them for decent coverage. You people need to get your fucking shit together. Allow me to sum up the last decade or so of Falcons football/Atlanta professional sports in general: let's say you meet a really cute girl. The same Harry Douglas that tripped and fell on a would-be go-ahead touchdown in the 2013 NFC Championship Game. Oh yeah, this team has Scott Pioli as an advisor. The streak ended with a 4–12 record in 2013. And even worse than the gridlock is when friends of mine like Spencer Hall use the city's endless dysfunction as a way of making Atlanta sound unique and awesome. Really dodged a bullet there. But don't worry, Atlanta. That's it. The Falcons are so disappointing and frustrating, the biggest buzz in Atlanta right now is the MLS team coming THREE YEARS FROM NOW. I was told the main highlight of the premiere was Mike Smith wearing amusing shower shoes. View the 2014 Atlanta Falcons football schedule at We let go of John Abraham and signed Osi Umenyiora last year. The only reason anyone (even Atlantans) knows a third WR on our team is because he dropped a sure touchdown that would have sent us to the Super Bowl. As of this moment, Ryan is made from pocket-passer boilerplate. When we leave, though, he's outside with a few of his friends. I don't even blame him. No wonder they did the Walking Dead premiere in that city. Our O-line is one guy we drafted and the cast of Cats from the Fox Theater production. There are, like, safeties around. Here in Atlanta we have babies stuck on roadways and that is CULTURE. Why would anyone want to watch the Falcons shit the bed on Sunday a mere 18 hours after they just watched Georgia shit the bed on Saturday? The Georgia Dome is likely the newest stadium to ever be replaced, yet the worst thing about the stadium (its location) isn't being remedied at all, it's still in the second worst section of Atlanta (after Turner Field) where you can't get a drink or bite to eat anywhere but a tailgate before the game. All logos are the trademark & property of their owners and not Sports Reference LLC. 144. If he's never gonna be quite as good as Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees, he may as well compensate in some other way. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the…, AFC West: Chargers | Chiefs | Raiders | Broncos, Some people are fans of the San Diego Chargers. Oct. 5, 2012: NL Wild Card Game St. Louis 6, Atlanta 3, 6. You don't have to change anything. After that first date you're thinking "ALL RIGHT! OOPTY! Most data provided by 24-7 Baseball, creators of the ESPN Pro Football Encyclopedia. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the…, NFC South: Falcons | Buccaneers | Panthers | Saints, Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. All Southerners believe that they somehow savor life more than their Yankee brethren because they are so painfully slow, but this is a lie. The worst part about Atlanta area taxpayers having to pay $200M to build this team a new stadium is that some of that money will go towards a physical bench that is totally wasted on whatever the Falcons deign to put on it. You people living in cities that work are so beat. You call her for a second date, things go just as well, get back to your place, aaaaaand handjob. Stop pretending your dying infrastructure and civil corruption are endearing. 4) Our owner looks like an actual falcon. And when a coach that wasn't offensively inept finally got there, it's not a coincidence that he was kicked to the curb to go back to kick and punt returning duties. You'll see PLENTY of ice, along with people who know how to properly drive a fucking motor vehicle.). Record: 6-10-0, 3rd in All-time Rushing Leader: Gerald Riggs 1,587 att, 6,631 yds, 48 TD . This means that if you want to go and tailgate a game, you have to wake up at like 5AM to get your shit together in order to fight your way through Atlanta traffic and make it to the Georgia Dome with 45 minutes to spare before you have to go into the stadium. Our reasoning for presenting offensive logos. And if you get pissy with Atlanta people about how slow they are, they just accuse YOU of being the asshole. With a nail gun. Das entschied ein Bundesgericht nach einem Einspruch des Football-Quarterbacks gegen eine zuvor getroffene Entscheidung. The pregame interviews will also be unbearable. FUCK YOU. It hurts my essence. © Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung GmbH 2001 - 2020Alle Rechte vorbehalten. Loading... Unsubscribe from Anna Cheer? Atlanta Falcons Franchise Encyclopedia. Find out more. Jan. 31, 1999: Super Bowl XXXIII Denver 34, Atlanta 19, 4. All-time Passing Leader: Matt Ryan 4,650/7,103, 53,367 yds, 333 TD, All-time Rushing Leader: Gerald Riggs 1,587 att, 6,631 yds, 48 TD, All-time Receiving Leader: Julio Jones 828 rec, 12,572 yds, 59 TD, All-time Scoring Leader: Matt Bryant 1,163 points, Every Sports Reference Social Media Account, Site Last Updated: Monday, October 26, 6:42AM. Our owner looks like Snidely Whiplash. This is a running list that we update annually. NFL Schedule 2014 — WEEK 7 Advertising. Are you a Stathead, too? Why are you so uptight about standing there and having all your time wasted, mannnnnnnn? He has a huge group trying to talk to him, so we figure our chances of interacting with him are nil. We brought in Tony Gonzalez to help him finally win a playoff game or two. Maybe we'll even devote a whole offensive package to it, like the Wildcat. 10. And the team can't muster up anything on defense, either. Our GM constructed our roster oblivious to the fact that football is a sport where 300 pound men crash into each other at high speeds, so we have 20-25 players who are worth a shit and the rest of our team is guys who had to take a pay cut from the Arena League team they used to play for. You and I were nearly saddled with the burden of having to watch Matt Ryan lose in the playoffs for the fourth year in a row! View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 2014 CD release of The Definitive Falcons Collection on Discogs. We'll call it the "DIRTY BIRD.". This team's currently employing Devin Hester, Harry Douglas and Drew Davis as its 3rd, 4th and 5th wide receivers. It never will. The list documents the season-by-season records of the Falcons' franchise from 1966 to present, including postseason records, and league awards for individual players or head coaches. Atlanta Falcons stats and statistics for the 2014 NFL season, including rushing, passing, receiving, kickoff returns, punt returns, punting, kicking and defense You do against all of your better senses because you're hoping against all hope that for no particular reason, all of this progress you've made is going to eventually lead to something greater. Head Coach/Wide Receivers) and Mike Tice (Offensive Line), Preseason Odds: Super Bowl +6000; O/U: 8.5, Training Camp: Atlanta Falcons Training Facility (Flowery Branch, Georgia), Every Sports Reference Social Media Account, Site Last Updated: Monday, October 26, 6:42AM. By the sixth date you don't even want to waste your evening anymore. 38 94 9. first downs 1st downs rushing passing by penalty. Our reasoning for presenting offensive logos. You start to hit it off with her and eventually you work up the nerve to ask her out. 2) Our fans show up at halftime and leave halfway through the 4th quarter. You aren't seizing the day because it took you three hours to make a sandwich. 141. total first downs total 1st downs. They are in other Atlantas and thus are a two-mile, 158-minute drive away. Meanwhile, Matty Ice skates by, completely under-scrutinized when it comes to elite-itude. Draft-wise, the team added Jake Matthews at right tackle to help protect Ryan so that he can again achieve the towering adequacy that fans expect from Matt Ryan. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. Daraufhin wollten die Falcons die Zahlungen aus seinem ursprünglich bis 2014 laufenden Kontrakt nicht leisten. The tailgating area is affectionately called "The Gulch" and the area is even uglier than the word for it. This article is a list of seasons completed by the Atlanta Falcons American football franchise of the National Football League (NFL). The same Devin Hester who was a failure year after year as a wide receiver in Chicago. Because "the Falcons need to be tougher up front." Instead, we won only one, and then he quit on the team. Atlanta has since added its first stretch of five straight winning seasons, with a 13–3 record in 2010, a 10–6 record in 2011, and a 13–3 record in 2012. Traffic is asphyxiating. NFC South Division View the 2014 Atlanta Falcons schedule, results and scores for regular season, preseason and postseason NFL games. Greater Atlanta is a train wreck. We present them here for purely educational purposes. Copyright © 2000-2020 Sports Reference LLC. It was like Ebola had swept through the town years ago, instead of just this week. She declines, he rebuffs, and so we walk away doing the "E-A-G-L-E-S" chant because that's what you do when you're drunk and in the company of a Philly fan. : Tim Lewis (Secondary), Terry Robiskie (Asst. Or write about sports? opponents. Fuck that. And in downtown Atlanta there was … nothing. There are no subplots. It's simple. Drew Davis has been a backup his entire career. Jan. 20, 2013: NFC Championship Game San Francisco 28, Atlanta 24, 2. They are all just pissed that Sunday is the farthest point of the week away from College Football. Find out more. You know you're just gonna have another great date, let your hopes get nice and lofty again, only for them to be dashed by an uncomfortable handie. Every other city thinks that the player we have as starting RB retired 3 years ago. Join our linker program. But don't tell that to some Falcons fans, who view him as "AN EXPLOSIVE THREAT!" 1998 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR YEAR, JERKHEADS. This is Atlanta sports, the team will play well enough just to give us all hope and then get slaughtered by 40 points in the first round of the playoffs., Short description is different from Wikidata, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License, This page was last edited on 22 February 2020, at 01:32. What's new that sucks: Oh hey, it's Devin Hester! This is a franchise that took until 2009 to achieve back-to-back winning seasons. Vielen DankDer Beitrag wurde erfolgreich versandt. It still hurts. AFC South: Titans | Jaguars | Texans | Colts, Some people are fans of the Tennessee Titans. Logos were compiled by the amazing © Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung GmbH 2001–2020Alle Rechte vorbehalten. There is no intrigue. Whenever NFL Films shows up, there are usually a handful of players who talk extra loud because they know they're on film (Ray Lewis used to do this all the time). 1) We're getting a fancy new (publicly financed) stadium because we started getting into the playoffs when Matt Ryan got drafted, and then proceeded to lose to the Cards, put up 2 points against the Giants, get a new one ripped for us by the Packers, and blow a 17 point lead in the NFC title game against the Niners. 3) Arthur Blank is easily the most villainous-looking owner in the NFL. I'll give you a hint: It's somewhere before Ryan throws 15 picks in his last 10 games. This is not true when the Falcons play in a playoff game. All logos are the trademark & property of their owners and not Sports Reference LLC. Pro-Football-Reference utilizes Official NFL data for current NFL seasons. But at least it is a 30-minute walk from the stadium itself. Our GM looks like a retired Backstreet Boy. That's the Falcons every year. Next team up: THE BUCS. The rest of us have lives to lead. Um einen neuen Sicherheitscode zu erzeugen, klicken Sie bitte auf das Bild. My then-current girlfriend and I went to Athens (UGA campus) with a friend of mine from Philly to visit her friends. I've seen better-drawn characters on an episode of Dog with a Blog.

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